If I think about my productivity I can’t remember a time when I wasn’t struggling with it. I stopped doing homework for school at 12, which required creativity and a good understanding of the program. I learned how to read big chunks of text super fast and most of the time I was reading pages almost instantly just skimming the page to get the main idea. That is why I know really well how physics works but had to check formulas every time I tried to calculate something. Or I know the political situation or the reason for many geopolitical events in history, but I have difficulties remembering any name or any dates, even if it is a band name that I like or an actor name from my favourite movie. This never stopped me from finishing school or university, because as my teachers and parents were always telling me - you are as smart as you are lazy.
I am 32 and you can’t even imagine how many times I heard how successful I could be only if I would work more, focus on work, university, music, hobbies and so on. On one side you see that you have the potential for everything, no matter what you tried, you are pretty good at everything. Sad that this won’t last long. I can work on a new hobby or interest 24/7, forgetting to sleep, eat or socialize, but the moment I lose interest or hit a plateau, I can’t force myself to do it anymore. That is why I quit many jobs. Not because conditions were wrong or I didn’t like the job, but because it wasn’t entertaining or challenging enough for me. I tried to force myself to stay motivated, joined new projects and ended up burnout and depressed.
Since then I went through different types of psychotherapy, cognitive behavioural therapy (CBT), many productivity trainings, read tons of books and came a bit closer to an understanding of my productivity and motivational factors. In order to help myself to structure my thoughts and journal results, I decided to start this blog and hopefully later will start a TikTok account or Youtube channel.
If you are like me struggling with daily tasks, have ADHD or just want to join me in this journey, please subscribe and share your experience in the comments.